Up to Par

Recently I was at a friends graduation party.   She made it, and did quite well, and I'm happy for her.

At the party though, I realized that I have some work I need to do on myself.  It was an odd feeling going to a party filled with friends and family of her and her roommate, all quite skilled people.  Dancers, and doctors, and theologists, and activists. 

And there I was, wondering what I could talk about with them.  Work... work was all I could come up with. 

I had pretty much the same conversation with three people, and I didn't have very many conversations.  Mostly I just hung out by the food area.  I probably looked like a freeloader... 

It is apparent, that I need to take up interests in something other than computer games and tv shows/movies. 

Also, I need to figure out how to talk about my interests.  I just feel I'm not good enough in any of them.  I could talk about how I got a picture in a newspaper.  I could talk about how I wish I took photos of the snow storm, and the hockey game.  But those all seem so trivial compared to "I'm a doctor, what I do saves lives," or "I spent a semester in a 3rd world country trying to avoid crime lords, and I have a motorcycle."

I know I shouldn't hold myself up to others.  I know I have my own skills, but I'm pretty sure I botched my college career so far, and mostly because I am addicted to games and stories.  Not as bad as my cousin, who when into therapy for it (16 hours a day, had to drop several classes, and still almost failed out of college).  But he's getting better after taking a break. 

This summer, I plan on working on that.  I plan to get more into photography, programming and learning.  Plus I might even take a vow of abstinence from video games for the entire month of June.  Maybe I'll start a web comic, or learn how to animate. 

I just know something has to change.  Video games should not be my life, especially when the rest of my life depends on these years in college. 

And to my friend, sorry if I rained on your party.  The only person I knew there was you, and I'm glad you appreciated me being there enough to let me know, but I still feel bad about how I didn't really talk to many people.  To be honest, I felt out of place, but I shouldn't have let that hold me back.  So, if there is another party of yours I end up going to, I'll try to get more involved.

Good luck, and have fun.